Dear Working Mother,

I might get into trouble for this but imma say it anyway….as a woman when you’re running a business and a household you have the right to be selfish. For if you’re not selfish at times, the things you cherish will suffer such as your dreams, self worth and livelihood.  So mama that means that  no one is good if you’re not taking care of yourself, it’s just like when the flight attendant says, “If you are traveling with a child or someone who requires assistance, secure your mask first, and then assist the other person”.  With that said we have to take care of ourselves to be the best mother, the best wife, the best daughter, the best boss and person we can be.

To my entrepreneurs and dreamchasers, we have to be even more selfish because we’ve added more responsibilities and stress to ourselves than the average mom.  Its not just about having business, the real work comes in staying motivated, creative, to keep money flowing and to not go crazy with brain overload.

And just when you’re getting into the groove you start to feel guilty…with that ol’ mommy guilt.  Mommy guilt is an unfair societal and self inflicted pressure we put on ourselves when we feel were not “doing enough” or failing as mothers.   This is a natural feeling that I believe the vast majority of mothers feel because we strive for perfection, feed into societal pressures or the nagging of our own mothers.  Being away from your child to travel, or to work after your 9-5 in reason is nothing to feel guilty about or berated for the choices You make for your future because you have this right.  Those that berate these types of mothers are just projecting their fears and resentments on to you based on their choices.  Now  I’m not advocating for moms to relinquish their duties as a mother because our kids are our #1 obligation whether you’re single or supported by a partner.

I just want to encourage mompreneurs to keep their dream and their hustle alive by staying true to themselves and remember that kids come into your life, not the another way around!  So take action to uplift yourself which in return will uplift your family.  Some moms may feel guilty because they feel like they’ll miss milestones…and I’m sympathetic to that but I rather bust my butt to make more memories that we both will remember like traveling to South Africa, paying for swim or music lessons, dropping her off at a prestigious school and ultimately to give her what I didn’t have.  We’re not doing this to relieve our responsibilities but to create legacy, freedom and financial independence.  Be selfish because you have goals and dreams that you had before the kids or perhaps inspired by them, whatever the case may be don’t lose yourself.

Here are 3 ways to start being selfish today.  If you’re a little sensitive about the word then reclaim your time works!

1. Time management- All experts will say that time management is the foundation for being organized and staying on top of things. In addition, it’s very important to not only list daily tasks but to actually schedule your priorities to be more effective and successful…but I’m not there yet lol. As a mompreneuar with a full time job and an active toddler, life can be very unpredicatable, so I use my passion planner (https://passionplanner.com/) to Manage my day.  It has been a game changer in keeping me accountable, dream, complete tasks and plan projects.

2.  Demand help- Now I would be lying to you if I said you can be successful as a mompreneuar or working mom without a village because truth is you can’t.  You have to get your family or friends to buy into your vision and goals so they will truly support you.  I find it really sad and disappointing when my mom friends either don’t have the support or it comes with hesitation.  So If you don’t have the support due to circumstances or family drama, then you have to seek outside help that requires money or improvising your business temporarily.  For example if you make a product and you have young kids you may have to find another source of in home income so you can make money to pay for child care.  Now kids under 2 will throw a wrench in your plans at time, so if being slow and steady like the tortoise is all you can do then do it but don’t give up and don’t give in to defeat because you’re awesome!  If the kids are over 2, having age appropriate conversations with them to explain why mommy is gone and require support…and dragging them along with a book or electronic gadget helps too!   Now if your request for support comes with hesitation, explain your business, breakdown your goals, and breakdown vulnerably what you need from them.  If they love you and believe in them the support should come easy…if not on to the next and but don’t let it stop you.

3.  Remember your Why-  OK ladies Here is the most important tip.  Being a working mom can be emotionally, financially and physically draining so keeping our why in the forefront everyday is the only thing that will keep us motivated.  My Why to working my business is my daughter.  I want to show her how ownership is connected to living a more fulfilled life where you give back to communities and control the narrative of your life.  The added bonuses are to fire my boss, be my own boss, gain the personal freedom to work in any timezone and to help my family and community.  So if working late nights after my 9-5, weekends and sacrificing companionship is what I have to do to get one step closer to full time entrepreneurship, then that is what I’m going do because I’m worth it!

Sincerely,

A Selfish yet Great Mom 🙂